


Shagging Psychology

by tweetysrcclt9



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Banter, Beginnings, Courtship, Cunning Harry Potter, F/M, First Dates, First Kiss, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Graduation, Head Boy Harry Potter, Head Girl Hermione Granger, Humor, Loss of Virginity, Magical Bond, POV First Person, POV Harry Potter, Post-Second War with Voldemort, Psychology, Romance, Romantic Comedy, Science, Seduction, Sexual Content, Sexy Times, Summer Romance, Sweet Harry Potter, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:08:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26041720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tweetysrcclt9/pseuds/tweetysrcclt9
Summary: "Why aren't we shagging each other, 'Mione?" when Harry accidentally asked that question, he expected a slap on the face.Instead, he was rejected through a series of psychological explanations he didn't understand.Hermione Granger may be brilliant, but Harry Potter never gives up.In a battle between science and love, who wins the game in matters of the heart?
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Harry Potter
Comments: 51
Kudos: 271
Collections: Prompt Bank Garage Sale





	1. Of Late Night Conversations

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by [HarmonyandCo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HarmonyandCo/pseuds/HarmonyandCo) in the [PromptBankGarageSale](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/PromptBankGarageSale) collection. 



> **Prompt:**  
>  And then they SHAGGED!
> 
> Prompter: Anon

**SHAGGING PSYCHOLOGY**

By: tweety-src-clt9

Of Late Night Conversations

"Why aren't we shagging each other, 'Mione?" I stupidly blurted out the question that has been plaguing my mind ever since I realized how brilliant, beautiful, and perfect my best friend was.

Here we are lounging about in our private common room that we shared in the Heads Dormitories. Hermione was randomly reading something, some sort of magazine that I haven't seen before, and I was a little intoxicated from a combination of butterbeer, elf wine, and some shots of Firewhiskey.

We would be graduating from Hogwarts tomorrow, Hermione, and I. We're one of the students who decided to come back for our final year. Ron was off touring with the Chudley Cannons as a second-string keeper, so the Golden Trio was separated for a year. I didn't really want to come back, but Hermione was persistent and eventually, she won me over. Besides, I reckoned it would be nice to experience a 'normal year' also known as a year without a crazy murdering dark lord after my head.

I was starting to get nervous and sweaty. I was terrified of Hermione's reaction to my slip up. I wanted to _obliviate_ her. I wanted to find a time turner. I wanted to do anything to stop my stupid arse from blurting out my biggest secret.

I gulped.

The anxiety of waiting for Hermione's reaction was worse than walking towards my death at Voldemort's hand in the Forbidden Forest. What in the world possessed me to ask this stupid stupid question?

I could have asked, 'Why aren't we dating Hermione?' or something relatively tamer. But really? Did I have to word it as shagging? Now I'm going to lose my most loyal and dearest friend because of these stupid teenage hormones that make me horny for my best friend. I freaking hate myself right now!

Finally, Hermione looked up from her magazine with an elegant brow raised and her gorgeous chocolate brown eyes staring at me with a look of incredulity and confusion.

"Pardon me?" her voice was barely audible.

I took a deep calming breath. Gryffindor's charge ahead so I repeated myself, "Why aren't we shagging, Hermione?"

"What's gotten into you, Harry? Are you alright? You seem, er, delirious, or something. Maybe you've had too much to drink," her voice showed her concern for my well-being just like always and I felt like a total git. Here was Hermione being her typical concerned self and here I was secretly wanting more from her.

 _Why can't my stupid prick just want someone else?_ I was mentally berating myself over and over again. Hermione was too pure, too good, and too perfect for someone as damaged as me. _Why can't I just settle for the many fangirls that I have?_ A lot of witches wanted to bed and be the girlfriend of the Man Who Conquered. So why can't I just pick one of them and leave Hermione alone?

 _Because you finally got your head out of your arse,_ the cynical part of my brain said to me in a voice that resembled Hermione's melodious lecturing.

"Oh… I see. Well, how do I phrase this?" to my surprise, Hermione seemed to be unaffected by my blatant question. Instead of panicking or smacking me on the face, she was tapping her fingers on her chin and thinking of a reply.

_Here it comes, the bomb of rejection. I might as well go up to my room and curse myself for ruining the most important friendship of my pathetic lonely life._

I was already preparing myself for the worst-case scenario when suddenly, Hermione closed her magazine, stood from her position on the lounge chair, and took a seat beside me on the large couch.

"Harry… I hope you do not take offense, but you are just projecting your carnal desires on me because you think I'm a safe choice. You don't really fancy me. I'm like a sister to you, remember?" there was a tinge of amusement in her eyes as she tried to explain herself.

 _What the hell, Hermione? Me? Projecting? Are you out of your mind?_ I wanted to blurt out that she was the one who's sounding crazy right now, but you just can't yell at Hermione Granger and call her crazy. So, I just settled with, "huh?"

Hermione chuckled and I was more confused. Maybe she's the one who's had too much to drink at the secret gathering of this year's graduating students at the Room of Requirement.

"Alright, let me put it this way. The girls you expressed an interest in are Cho Chang and Ginny, right?" Hermione asked and I nodded. I was waiting to hear her rationalize this whole 'projecting' theory that she had.

"Well, let me ask you. What did you like in Cho and Ginny?"

"I – er, well, Cho was pretty, I liked her hair, and well she's good at Quidditch."

"Now, what did you see in Ginny?"

"Well, Ginny seems really fun, and she's pretty, and she's good at Quidditch. Also, I wanted to feel normal and er, she made me feel normal at some point. Like I was just, you know, a teenager not the bloody Chosen One," I emphasized the last two words with sarcasm, and Hermione chuckled.

"See? Now let's look at it statistically. Out of the two girls you were seriously interested in, I am sure you can see a pattern, right?"

I nodded because even if I don't agree with her crazy 'projecting' theory, she did make valid points on my being a shallow git for going after Cho and Ginny for looks and Quidditch skills. _No wonder I don't deserve you, Hermione. You just basically pointed out that I was foolishly following Cho and Ginny around because of something as silly as looks when you've been there all along. And now, maybe I missed my chance. I'm such an idiot!_

"There's this theory in psychology that every single person is attracted to a certain type of person. Now given your previous love interests, you already have established a type. Furthermore, there is this thing in psychology where men are inherently attracted to women who share similar characteristics as their mother, which is called _Oedipus Complex._ Likewise, women are also commonly attracted to men who are like their fathers, this is called _Electra –_ "

"Hold on a sec!" I interrupted Hermione. While I was listening to her explanations, I felt sick and truly grossed out. I have come to realize that she does have a point. Ginny had a lot of similarities with my mother because of the red hair. _Good thing Ginny and I broke it off immediately,_ I shiver at the thought of kissing her when we dated. _Thank Merlin I didn't sleep with Ginny or else I would never recover from the horridness of this Oedipus thing that Hermione's talking about._

"Yes? Did I say something wrong?" Hermione frowned.

"No, no! It's just – I, er, Merlin this is awkward! I just bloody realized that Ginny does look like my mother, red hair and all," I shrugged as I feigned nonchalance but deep inside, I was thanking my lucky stars that Ginny and I realized we would never work out.

Hermione chuckled as she playfully punched my shoulder.

"Get off me, woman!" I joked back and this time she laughed even more. I should pity myself for being rejected in such a cruel manner but Hermione being _Hermione,_ she just made everything seem alright.

"Really though, Harry! I cannot understand why you would ever ask me such a thing. Clearly, you want someone in your life, to make you feel happy or normal, and given that every witch at Hogwarts is willing to throw their knickers at you, you are scared. You want someone to love you, the real Harry, and not the hero. That is the reason why you're projecting on me because, with me, you feel safe. You feel safe because you trust me," Hermione held my hand and I felt my heart breaking inside as I wallowed in self-pity.

"But what if you're wrong, Hermione? What if I am the exception to the rule?" I tried to push my case.

"Harry, psychology is rarely wrong. It is science, backed by many years of rigorous research. Besides, I really don't think you would like me romantically if you knew the truth about me," Hermione smiled at me and I frowned.

"But how can you say that? You're my best friend! Of course, I know you!"

"Did you know of my plans before Hogwarts? Like what I would have become if I wasn't a witch?" Hermione challenged.

"I, er, well, we – we haven't really talked about it," I conceded, and I could feel Hermione squeezing my hand.

"Alright! So, let me summarize things for you then. When I was a little girl, well, I was doing really, and I mean _really_ well in class. Because of that, my parents per the suggestion of my teachers took me to a psychologist. The results of the test classified me as a person with a genius-level IQ. I underwent more tests; I was given courses that fit my level better… Anyway, because of all the tests, I became very fascinated with the human brain and all it entails including how we process thoughts, emotions, and learning. Because of that, I decided that I wanted to be a neuroscientist when I grow up. But well, Professor McGonagall visited, and the rest is history," Hermione explained.

"I see… So, you really are a genius, eh?" I teased.

"According to those tests," she shrugged.

"How high an IQ are we talking about, 'Mione?" I chuckled when she rolled her eyes at the nickname.

"184," she muttered.

I wolf-whistled. "Damn! No wonder they call you the Brightest Witch of the Age," I was amazed.

"I plan on getting my Ph.D. in Neuroscience and then psychology after that," Hermione said and I was stunned.

"You're – you're leaving?" I was gobsmacked. I wanted to cry. I was losing my best friend. _And the love of my life,_ I thought bitterly.

"Just for a little while, Harry," Hermione's voice was small.

"But – why didn't – you never told me or Ron!"

"I didn't know how to tell you – "

"Are you tired of us? Of me? Is that it?" I stood from the couch and began to pace. This was worse than getting smacked in the face.

"I'll still be in Britain for my bachelor's degree, Harry. We can see each other during the weekends. After that, I want to go to America so I can get my Ph.D. at Harvard," Hermione explained.

"But what about me? And – and Ron? All your other friends?" I stopped pacing and I sat on the floor as I took her hands in mine.

"I need to do this, Harry. I want to continue my studies and help people understand things about human behavior. Maybe find a cure for a mental disorder, explain things undiscovered, I don't know but I – I want to do this."

"But why go to America? Can't you do all of that here? In Britain? With me?" I no longer cared that she could see the tears rolling down my cheeks.

"Nothing is set in stone yet, Harry. I may not get into Harvard for my Ph.D. and – "

"That's bullocks and you know it! You can get into any school you want, 'Mione. Why do you have to go so far away?"

"I need to find a place where I belong, Harry. I need to find a place that understands and appreciates me. I need to grow and explore what's out there. And for me, there will be more opportunities in the non-magical communities. If I stay within wizarding society, I will remain a second-class citizen because I'm muggleborn. And frankly, I'm tired of all the resentment I get because of my blood status. I want to – "

"I'll go with you."

"Harry, you have Auror training – "

"I don't care! I can go to the college you're enrolled in, maybe study business or something. I just – you can't leave me, Hermione. Not you too! I can't lose you!"

"You will never lose me, Harry. You will always be my best friend – "

"If I was your best friend, why didn't you tell me about your plans?" I was being petty and bitter, but I didn't care. I needed Hermione in my life, and I thought that we told each other everything but I was wrong.

"Kingsley told me not to tell you and – "

"The fucking Minister knew about all this?" I was starting to get angry now. I was sick of the ministry manipulating my life. Hadn't I done enough? Hadn't I lost enough? And now, Hermione too?

"Kingsley offered me a job at the Ministry, but I declined. I told him about my plans to study neuroscience. And then, he asked if it was possible to learn more about the reasons as to why some humans are born magical. He asked if neuroscience could find an answer to that question. I told him that it was a possible answer to his question because it deals with the study of the brain after all. So, he reluctantly accepted my refusal, but he asked me that maybe someday I can use neuroscience to explain wizardry and maybe even the relationship of blood status to magical ability. I was about to leave his office when he asked me to not tell anyone about my plans to leave the wizarding world so I can pursue my studies. Initially, I refused but when he started to say that my leaving can impact other people's decisions, most especially yours, I agreed."

"But why would you keep it a secret from me, Hermione?"

"I don't want you to question your choices because of mine. You always wanted to be an Auror – "

"I don't have another choice so might as well be a bloody auror! If you told me your plan, I could have explored other options too!"

"I want you to be happy, Harry. I want you to pursue things that you really want to do. I don't want to force you to do things you don't really like anymore," Hermione gave me a sad smile.

I sighed. This conversation was going nowhere. I needed to rethink my options.

First thing in the morning, I would tell Kingsley bloody Shacklebolt that I won't be an auror. How dare they try to interfere with my life once again? Secondly, I needed to talk to someone. I needed some advice. I just couldn't accept that Hermione rejected me because of some scientific psychobabble. _This is insane!_ I expected rejection but to be rejected because of some scientific theory? _Hell, no! I need to think this through. I won't give Hermione up._

"I understand your decision, Hermione. But you do promise to visit me in the summer, right?" I gave her my best 'pathetic and begging Harry' face.

"I'm all yours this summer. I have to make sure my best friends won't miss me too much," Hermione ruffled my hair.

"I'll hold you to that promise, Ms. Granger," I said mischievously. _You'll be mine before the summer's over then, Hermione._

"We should go to sleep, Harry. It's graduation tomorrow," Hermione stood from the couch.

"I'll head up in a bit. After all, Hermione Granger just rejected me," I pouted.

"I didn't reject you, you git!" Hermione threw a pillow in my face which I easily dodged.

"You did too! But I have to hand it to you, Hermione, rejecting me through Shagging Psychology," I rubbed my chest as if I were in pain, which I really was but she need not know it.

"Shagging Psychology!" Hermione huffed.

"Hey! It's a catchy phrase to all those explanations you gave me," I retorted.

"You're just projecting, Harry. You'll find the right, Mrs. Potter. She's out there," Hermione extended a hand which I accepted. She pulled me up from my squatting position on the floor.

 _More like in here,_ but I decided to not say it out loud. "Good night, Hermione. You must sleep now. Wouldn't want you to look tired during your valedictory address, eh?" I teased.

"It's not a valedictory address! For the hundredth time!" she rolled her eyes. I was bloody proud of her for graduating at the top of our class. Even if she's not officially called as class valedictorian, maybe that term is just a muggle thing, everyone knew that Hermione Granger broke all NEWT records as expected.

"Sleep well, Hermione," I wrapped my arms around her as I inhaled the sweet scent of her hair. Her scent always reminded me of home and a feeling of safety. It was a mixture of parchment, books, vanilla, and jasmine. _If I play my cards right and if I win against the shagging psychology she's been muttering about, this scent will greet me for every morning of my life._

"Good night, Auror Potter," she teased and I rolled my eyes.

When I heard Hermione's bedroom door close, I muttered, "Good night, future Mrs. Potter."

I chuckled to myself as I formulated plans in my head.

 _Let the games begin,_ I thought as I summoned some quill and parchment so I can write a letter to my account manager and the bloody minister.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back from a short hiatus. I will be finishing this 3 or 4 part story before September 1st for the Writing Challenge.
> 
> For readers of my other Works in Progress, y'all will have to wait a little longer.
> 
> I just started my new job last June 29 and I'll be working on my masters degree next month so life's been really hectic.
> 
> Hope everyone is still staying strong amidst all this chaos.
> 
> Stay safe!
> 
> P.S. Next chapters are coming soon. Like really soon.


	2. Of Plans and Psychology

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you that the update will come very soon.
> 
> What do you think? Shall I add Chapter Four which will serve as the Epilogue or is a 3-shot a perfect length to make this story short and sweet?
> 
> Let me know your thoughts.

**SHAGGING PSYCHOLOGY**

By: tweety-src-clt9

Of Plans and Psychology

"Congratulations to the Hogwarts Class of 1999. _Draco_ _Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus,_ " and with those last words from Headmistress McGonagall, graduation was over. I looked down at the two medals attached to my neck. I got one for earning the highest scores for my DADA exams as well as for being the best Quidditch player of our batch. It was truly surprising because we weren't told that medals would be handed over.

As everyone was hugging and congratulating each other, my eyes sought Hermione's. She was seated on stage with the other professors for being top of the class. When our eyes met, she grinned, and my besotted heart went wild just like that. I pointed to a spot where we could meet each other, and she nodded as she headed towards me.

"We did it, Harry! We did it!" Hermione was jumping up and down as she tackled me with her signature Hermi-hug. Since she had way too many medals, it kind of hurt my chest but I didn't care. I treasured moments like this.

"I'm so proud of you, Hermione," I whispered in her ear.

"Likewise, Harry," she had a big smile on her face as she pulled away.

"I wanted that medal, you know," Ginny approached as her hand was entwined with her boyfriend, Neville. She had a fake pout on her face which made Hermione and I chuckle.

"Jealous much, Gin?" I smirked. I knew Ginny wanted the Quidditch medal since she was eyeing a spot in the Holyhead Harpies.

"I deserved it because I was the captain this year," she continued to pout.

"You don't need a medal to get into the Harpies, love. Besides, you got to admit, nobody flies as crazy as Harry Potter," Neville tried to be sympathetic but the grin on his face said otherwise.

"Wizards are gits! Why do we put up with them, Hermione?" Ginny said dramatically and Hermione laughed.

"Well, I don't," Hermione retorted.

"Geez! You guys are not shagging yet?" Ginny whined and I glared at her. In as much as I enjoyed Ginny's friendship, she really couldn't keep her mouth shut. It was Ginny who noticed my feelings for Hermione first and she'd been pestering me to make a bloody move. Last night though, when I made that slip, well it was a disaster.

"What is it with people and shagging these days?" Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Don't knock it 'til you try it," Ginny smirked, and I chuckled when Neville started blushing.

"Hi, guys!" Luna's otherworldly voice piped in.

"Hey, Lu!" we chorused. As always, Draco Malfoy, Luna's boyfriend, was by her side. Most of us would never understand why Luna and Malfoy got together but they seemed happy. Luna told us that it was Draco who made sure the other Death Eaters would not harm her during her capture at Malfoy Manor. Long story short, we tolerated Malfoy because we all cared for Luna.

"Congratulations, Granger, Potter, Weasley, Longbottom," as always Malfoy was very formal and overly courteous. He had been laying low because he was on some sort of probation. If he screwed up again, it will be a long Azkaban vacation for him. Everyone understood that he was trying to better himself, especially with Luna's help, but most of us still distrust him.

"Thank you, Malfoy," I replied, and the rest nodded at the formerly pompous git.

"Hermione Granger! You genius, you!" I knew that voice from anywhere. Ron was here.

"Ronald! You made it!" Hermione hugged Ron.

"Ouch! Your bloody medals are hitting my chest!" Ron whined.

"You're still such a baby, Ronald," Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Harry! Mate! I see you're still ruling Quidditch around here, no offense Gin," Ron clapped me on the back, but I pulled him in for a manly hug.

"It's good to see you again, Ron," I grinned at my other best friend.

"Finally! My boys are here!" Hermione wrapped an arm on each of our shoulders. Given that she's shorter than me and Ron we had to crouch down.

"Geez, Herms! For a tiny thing you sure are strong," Ron muttered as he tried to pull away from Hermione's grip. Hermione only rolled her eyes and I chuckled when she released us.

"Hey, Gin-gin!" Ron hugged his sister and Ginny dramatically rolled her eyes. Weasleys really are a loud bunch.

"Neville!" Ron playfully punched Neville's arm. "I hope you're not doing nasty things to my sister, mate," Ron winked.

"Stay out of our business, Won-won. Besides, what if it's me who's doing nasty things to Neville?" Ginny smirked and Ron looked like he was going to be sick. Everyone laughed, even Malfoy chuckled a bit.

"Whatcha looking at ferret?" Ron glared at Malfoy.

"Introduce us to your friend, Ronald," as usual, we could always count on Luna to keep things calm. All our eyes turned to the direction Luna was pointing to. A woman was standing near Ron whose beauty seemed to be out of this world. A veela. I could tell that she was using her allure and directed it at me, so I immediately held Hermione's hand. Just like that, the spell was gone. I knew then that this woman was unlike Fleur who was only a quarter Veela. _Trust Ron to find the most attractive blonde around,_ I inwardly rolled my eyes.

Hermione looked down at our joint hands and she looked at me. I mouthed, "sorry, veela allure," and Hermione gave me an understanding smile. _Really! Who needs a bloody veela when I have the Brightest Witch of the Age with me?_

I glanced around our little group and just like me, Malfoy and Neville were holding the hands of their girlfriends.

"Are you going to introduce me, Ronald?"

"Guys, meet Audriana Knavs, my girlfriend," Ron proudly wrapped an arm on her waist.

"Hi," we chorused. I could see Ginny glaring at Audriana. Clearly Ginny felt that Audriana was using her allure right now. I looked around and a lot of men are already looking at Audriana with a dazed look in their eyes.

"Ahem! Miss Granger can I talk to you for a minute?" the headmistress approached us.

"Of course, Headmistress. I'll catch up with you guys, alright?" Hermione looked at the group and she gave my hand a squeeze before she followed Professor McGonagall. My eyes followed Hermione and I sighed. I didn't feel safe around this veela. She's clearly using Ron to get to me. I could feel her allure being focused on me right now.

"It's such an honor to finally meet the slayer of Voldemort," Audriana approached me and she introduced herself. She flipped her blonde hair as she extended her hand.

"Nice to meet you too," I was polite by my eyes were still focused on Hermione speaking with the headmistress and the Chief Unspeakable.

"Harry Potter is immuned to Veela allure, you know," Ginny said.

"I am sorry about that. Young veela can't control their allure around powerful wizards," Audriana apologized but I could see Ginny rolling her eyes.

"Sure, you can't," I heard Ginny mutter and I tried my best to not laugh in front of Audriana.

"So Audriana, tell us where you're from? Did you go to Beauxbatons?" Luna tried to lessen the tension in the group. I could see that Ron was already glaring at his sister as well.

"Ah, yes. I studied in Beauxbatons," Audriana nodded.

"Can you tell us more about it?" Neville piped in.

"Of course. Before anything else, I would like to apologize again for the allure. I know it won't work. You are clearly in love with Hermione Granger, Harry Potter. I can tell," Audriana smiled and I started to get anxious. I didn't know how Ron would react.

"You and Hermione? That's bloody brilliant, mate!" Ron clapped me on the back. I was surprised. Ron seemed to be truly supportive of the idea of Hermione and me.

"Er, I still have to convince Hermione to give me a chance. I kind of screwed it up last night," I admitted sheepishly.

Neville and Malfoy chuckled but their girlfriends elbowed them, so they immediately stopped.

"I blurted out a stupid question," I muttered as my eyes were glued to the ground.

"What the hell did you bloody say? Can't be that bad, can it? Herms is still talking to you," Ron replied.

"I may have asked her why we aren't shagging," I said as I felt my cheeks heating up.

"Bloody hell, Harry!" Ron exclaimed.

This time around, it was Luna and Ginny who chuckled while I saw Neville and Malfoy giving me a sympathetic wince. _Great! Now I feel like more of a pathetic loser who's bloody helpless around women. Some hero I am!_

"Neville, Gin, Luna, and well, you can come too ferret, I guess all of us should give Harry Potter tips on how to woo the Brightest Witch of the Age, eh? We can't have Harry over here, screwing it up again. I'll call George for help too. I'll send everyone an owl. You all better come. Especially you, Harry," Ron said sternly. For a minute there, he reminded me of Mrs. Weasley. Ron was very serious about helping me fix my mess.

"Mate, I appreciate – "

"No buts, Potter. You're going to that meeting! Merlin! I can't have you blurting something crazy like that again. Herms might hex you the next time," Ron shook his head in disbelief.

"Gee, thanks!" I said sarcastically.

"Oh, cheer up, Harry! I'm sure all of us can figure something out," Ron playfully punched me.

"What did I miss?" we were startled when Hermione approached us again.

"Oh, nothing! We're just talking about how you can carry all those bloody medals on your tiny little neck," Ron grinned, and Hermione shook her head in fond exasperation.

"You're lucky that I missed you, Ronald," Hermione was twirling her wand in between her fingers now and Ron gulped. Everyone laughed at that. You never wanted to be at the end of Hermione Granger's wand.

"You know I love you, right Herms? Anyway, what are we waiting for here, my mum has a bloody feast for all of us," Ron said with feigned innocence and Hermione laughed as she put her wand away.

* * *

"Let me help you clean up, Mrs. Weasley," Hermione stood from her seat as she followed the Weasley matriarch. Ron gestured to me and the rest of the gang. I knew that the embarrassing time has come. I would have to endure more teasing just to get some courting advice from my friends.

 _This is bloody great,_ I thought sarcastically.

Resigned to this awkward conversation, Luna, Neville, Malfoy, and I followed Ron, Ginny, and George outside of the Burrow. We were headed towards our favorite tree and immediately, Ginny cast privacy wards while George conjured a blanket for us to sit on.

As we took our places, I braced myself for what was to come.

"Alright, Harry, Ronniekins over here tells me that you screwed up on making your first move with The Hermione Granger. So, what in the bloody hell did you do?" George asked. There was a mischievous glint in his eyes that made me gulp. _Come on, Potter. These are your friends and Malfoy. You survived Voldemort; this is bound to be a piece of cake._

"I was tipsy last night from the secret party of the seniors. When we were back in the head's dorm, I blurted out, 'Why aren't we shagging, 'Mione?'" I confessed.

George started chuckling but he immediately stopped when Ron slapped him on the back.

"Stop laughing, you git! We need solutions here. So, what do you guys got for Harry over here?" Ron asked the group.

"What was Hermione's response, Harry?" Luna inquired gently.

"Well, she let me down by telling me that it's impossible for me to actually fancy her," I sighed.

"Why in the hell not?" Ginny frowned.

"She says that according to psychology, it is impossible for me to be attracted to her because she's not my type."

"What in the world is psychology?" Malfoy blurted out.

"It is a muggle science. The study is focused on human behavior and the mind or something like that. Anyway – "

"Hold up! Hold up! Hermione rejected you because she believes that according to this psy – psy – whatever it's called, you cannot be attracted to her?" Ginny was confused.

"Yes, that's right."

"That's stupid!" Ron exclaimed.

"Oh, my dear Harrykins, you are so clueless. Hermione was just playing coy with you. You didn't exactly tell her your feelings. You just asked a random question. So of course, she'll get all defensive. This is Hermione Granger after all!" George shook his head in exasperation.

"George has a point. She didn't outright reject you because you didn't talk about feelings. You asked a question. You still got this, mate!" Ron tried cheering me up.

"Did you try asking her out?" Neville inquired.

"No. I was afraid she'd hex me. And then she was talking about neuroscience and psychology and frankly, I'm just happy she didn't punch me or something," he admitted, and Ron winced.

"Yeah, yeah. You're scared and you screwed up. So, how are we going to fix this? Any suggestions?" Ginny moved the conversation forward.

"Why don't you use psycho – something to prove you like her? There's got to be something out there, right?" Malfoy thought.

"I don't like you, ferret, but you sure are on to something there," Ron mused.

"Yeah, that's right! You do that. Also, you dare Hermione," George waggled his eyebrows.

"Huh?" I was confused.

"Hermione is a bloody Gryffindor. Dare her to go out on three dates with you. If there's a spark there, she agrees to keep dating you. If you fail, you let her go or we think of something else. Bottom line, challenge her to face the possibility of having romantic feelings for you," George grinned.

"That's brilliant! I like these two ideas!" Ginny agreed and Luna nodded serenely.

"Guys! Guys! Act normal. Hermione's coming!" Neville hushed.

All of us turned towards the direction of Hermione. Audriana was by her side.

Right there and then, we all knew that the discussion was over.

"Good luck, mate. Keep us posted on any progress," those were Ron's last words as Luna discreetly canceled the privacy charms.

* * *

I haven't seen Hermione in two weeks. Ever since that graduation dinner at the Burrow, I buried my nose in all the psychology books on love, attraction, relationships, and sex that I could find. I also managed to enroll myself at the University College London, the school where Hermione's going to study for her bachelor's. It's a good thing that the goblins were able to sort out everything for me, at a hefty price of course, but I didn't care. Hermione's worth it. I would not easily give up on her like that.

Ever since I saw her sleeping with her cheek plonked on a thick tome she was reading in our private common room, I realized that there would never be another woman like her. As I watched her sleep, I realized that the thought of some other man seeing Hermione like that every day, sharing her bed, and building a home with her, made my skin crawl. I could never fathom the pain of watching her with some other man because I wanted it to be me by her side always. At that moment, I realized that I had always been in love with Hermione Granger. She was the one all along.

And so, if I had to read psychology books or move to America or get my brain scanned just to win Hermione's heart, then so be it. After all, my father relentlessly pursued my mother for seven years at Hogwarts. I was willing to wait for Hermione for much longer because I couldn't imagine having anyone else at my side.

I took a deep calming breath as I made sure that the big manila envelope in my hand wasn't crumpled. The envelope contained the biggest evidence of the depth of my feelings for Hermione. I just hoped that she would agree to the three dates that George suggested.

I knocked on Hermione's door. She was living in the old house her parents used to live in. She already got her parents back, but they decided to stay in Australia. Hermione's still trying to fully regain their trust but at least they're reunited.

I tried knocking again and a few seconds later, the door opened. Hermione was rubbing her eyes and her wild curly hair was all over the place. She looked so adorable with her sleepy face but when my eyes roamed all over her body, I gulped. She was wearing this light pink silk pajamas. The top was held together by thin straps and it gave a tantalizing view of her cleavage. It was paired with silk shorts of the same material that emphasized her legs.

 _Yep, definitely won't allow any other man to see her like this,_ I thought.

"Good morning, Hermione," I greeted cheerfully.

"Morning, Harry. Why are you here so early?" she yawned.

"It's eight in the morning, Mione," I chuckled.

"Right. Come on in," she opened the door wide for me and I entered the house.

"I brought you some breakfast. Strawberry and cream cheese pancakes with coffee," I wiggled the bag in front of her.

"Thanks, Harry. I'll just go change and I'll be right down. I miss you," Hermione briefly hugged me before running upstairs to her bedroom.

I set the food on the dinner table and looked for plates and utensils. When Hermione came down, she was dressed in lounge pants and a t-shirt.

"I hope you're hungry," I grinned.

"Very. This is great! I love strawberry pancakes!" her eyes sparkled as she looked at the food and I chuckled.

I pulled a chair for her and Hermione happily sat as she filled her plate. She took a sip of her coffee and gave out a contented sigh, "yum."

"I take it that the food is to your liking, Ms. Granger?" I smirked.

She nodded vigorously as she continued to eat. I always hated cooking for the Dursleys because they were never appreciative of my efforts. Cooking for Hermione, well, I would gladly do it for the rest of my life if she'd let me.

"This is great! Who made these?" she said after she swallowed a large bite.

I pointed to myself and she was gobsmacked. I laughed. Hermione really was a breath of fresh air. She was so full of life. She was so unpretentious. She was so real. _God, how I love this woman!_

"Wow! You can cook! Is there anything you can't do?" she teased.

"Divination," I shrugged, and Hermione chuckled.

"So… What brings you to my humble abode, Mr. Potter? I haven't heard from you in two weeks. Kreacher says you were busy with something very important," Hermione asked with an eyebrow raised.

"I was doing research and some other stuff."

"Oh?"

"Here. Let me show you something. Since you will be a neuroscientist someday, you should be able to understand this," I handed her the manila envelope that contained a copy of my MRI scan.

Hermione opened the envelope and she gasped.

"Harry, are you alright?" her voice filled with concern. "Why did you get an MRI? Are you sick?"

"I'm fine, Hermione. I just wanted to show you proof," I smirked.

"Proof of what?"

"Look at the scan," I gestured to the result.

She studied the MRI for a few minutes, and then she looked at me. "I don't understand. Your scans seem fine. In fact, it seems that you are very happy. It's almost like you're in love," Hermione spoke after perusing the image.

"Yes, I am," I said in all seriousness.

"While it's great that you're in love, I am happy for you, but why are you showing me this?"

"Remember our awkward conversation the night before graduation?" I prodded.

"Yes," she whispered.

"You said that according to psychology, it is impossible for me to be attracted to you, right?" She didn't reply but she nodded her head, so I continued.

"So, I decided to provide scientific evidence to counter your argument. As you can see per my brain scans, I am in love with you, Hermione. How's that for a rebuttal?" I smirked and her jaw dropped.

"But – but – "

"Now that we have refuted your claims about the impossibility of it all, will you go out with me?" I finally asked.

Her mouth was still open, so I used a finger to close it. Hermione's chocolate brown eyes were widened in surprise and I fought my urge to laugh.

"So, what do you say, Hermione? Will you go out with me?" I asked again.

She didn't say anything, but she slowly nodded her head.

I wanted to jump up and down but George wrote me some letters telling me that I should play it cool.

"Great! Now that it's settled, all I have to do is to get you to fall in love with me as well," I smirked, and Hermione still had an adorably confused look on her face.

_Potter – 100 points. Granger – 0._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus means 'Never Tickle a Sleeping Dragon'
> 
> Is Harry smooth or what?


	3. Of Dates and Shagging

**SHAGGING PSYCHOLOGY**

By: tweety-src-clt9

Of Dates and Shagging

I was nervous, anxious, and very excited as I held Hermione's hand. We just landed at the Forest of Dean, the exact spot we hid in during the war. This was a very special place for both of us. It was the place where Hermione asked me if maybe we could just stay here together and grow old. Back then, it was just wishful thinking because everything seemed bleak and hopeless. This time around, I wanted to make a new memory – a sweeter and happier one.

Due to my psychology research, I read something about replacing bad memories with happy ones. It's a form of therapy for trauma. So, I wanted to make our first date meaningful. I didn't want it to just be about romance and wooing Hermione. I wanted to bring closure for us. That way, we could slowly move forward with our lives.

Hermione has been very strong and resilient throughout all the hardships that she'd endured at Hogwarts, most especially during the Horcrux hunt. Since we shared a dorm for our final year, she didn't know that I could hear her screaming in fear when her nightmares from the war torment her at night. She wasn't aware that I would stay outside her room and cast a special charm that I created just for her. It's more of intent-based magic. I pour my magic so I can help her through the nightmares. It was exhausting to spend that much energy, but I would do anything just to make her nightmares stop. After all, if Hermione weren't involved in all the darkness that was my life, she would have been safe from all the trauma she had seen in the war. It was the least I could do for my savior.

"Harry? Can you remove my blindfold now?" Hermione's voice broke my reverie.

"Sorry," I muttered as I stepped behind her. I untied the knot and removed the blindfold. I smiled when I heard her gasp in surprise.

"Harry… It's so beautiful," she whispered.

Hermione was right. Kreacher, Luna, and Ginny did an excellent job in decorating this corner of the forest. I could not have chosen a more perfect night for our first date. The sky was nearly cloudless, and it was a full moon. The summer breeze was whistling against the leaves of the many trees that surrounded our tent. There were lanterns on some of the trees and there was a fire already set-up. I could even smell the delicious food that Kreacher had prepared.

When I remembered how much Kreacher despised Hermione, I chuckled. It seemed like a lifetime away. Now, when I asked him to prepare a special dinner for Hermione, he merely bowed and said, "I shall do my best to please my mistress, Master." Kreacher was still a sneaky little elf so he never called Hermione mistress when she was present. But when she was away, he would call her as such. It was ironic that even Kreacher knew of the depth of my feelings, but Hermione did not. _Well, clearly she understood it now,_ I smirked as I remembered Hermione's gobsmacked face from this morning when I handed her my MRI results.

"What's so funny?" Hermione turned to face me.

"I just remembered how excited Kreacher was when he learned he was preparing a special dinner for you. Ironic how he used to call you names before, right?" I chuckled and Hermione shook her head in exasperation.

"You did not just have Kreacher spend so much effort for all of this!" she frowned.

"Kreacher cooked but it was Luna and Ginny who decorated the tent and the forest," I grinned.

"Oh… Sorry, you know how I am about – "

"I know, I was there when you're all crazy about SPEW, remember?" I teased and she rolled her eyes.

"I am never living that one down, am I?" she huffed.

"Nope, but it's one of the things I love most about you," I gently brushed some of her long curly hair that covered her beautiful face.

"Harry…" Hermione whined; her cheeks tinged pink. She was so adorable that I just had to laugh to fight my urge to kiss her. _God! If you only know how much I love you, Hermione!_

"Come along, Ms. Granger. You promised me three dates, remember?" I winked as I tugged on her hand so we could walk towards the tent.

* * *

"Harry?"

"Hmm?" I lightly rose from my position on the carpet so I could see Hermione. After our sumptuous dinner, we decided to just enjoy the stars, the moon, the fire, and the forest. It was so tranquil and peaceful, eons away from the last time we were here.

"Who else knows about this? Your feelings for me, I mean," Hermione whispered.

I chuckled a little. _Trust Hermione to always want to know the little details,_ I thought fondly as I reached for her hand. I laced our fingers together, marveling at how small her hand was compared to mine. _Such delicate hands for such a strong woman._

"George, Neville, even Malfoy," I admitted.

"Malfoy?" Hermione was shocked that she sat up. I patted my lap, so she scooted closer. Shrugging, Hermione laid her head on my lap as my fingers played with her hair.

"Remember when we were at the Burrow? You helped Mrs. Weasley in cleaning up after our graduation dinner?"

"Ahuh," she muttered.

"Well, our best mate, Ronald, just had to make an impromptu meeting so he could help me figure out how I'd fix the whole shagging psychology mess," I chuckled.

"Hmm… So, what else have you been up to, Mr. Potter? As far as I remember, you coerced me to go on three dates with you this morning," she feigned aloofness, but I could hear the mischief in her voice.

"Well, I may or may not have enrolled at UCL as well," I said coyly.

"Harry! You didn't!"

"Harry Potter never gives up, you know," I feigned arrogance as I stared at her.

"So, I'm just a conquest to you then?" she frowned at me.

"You'll be my conquest for life, if you'll let me," I joked.

"You prat!" Hermione laughed.

"Hermione?"

"Hmm?"

"I really do love you, you know," I said in all seriousness.

"I know… After all, you did all that research just to prove your point and you don't even like studying," Hermione chuckled.

"I understand now though…"

"Understand what, Harry?"

"Why you want to study neuroscience, psychology… It is fascinating. I know you'll do great things, Hermione. I'll always support you, you know that, right?"

"You always did, Harry. Even if you find my bossiness and intense study habits annoying sometimes." We both chuckled at that statement because it was so true. When our laughter subsided, I took a deep calming breath as I basked in the simplicity and the serenity of this moment. It felt so good to finally be free of all the darkness in the past.

"What are you studying at UCL?" Hermione broke the comfortable silence once again.

"Management. I need to learn how to make good use of all the wealth that my parents and Sirius left me. I want to make them proud, Mione," I confessed.

"I'm sure they already are, Harry."

"Are you?" I asked. Despite beating all the hardships in my life, I was still the little insecure boy of the cupboard under the stairs sometimes.

Hermione shifted from my lap and she sat in front of me. She raised a hand to cradle my cheek. "Harry, your parents, and Sirius love you very much. If you ended up being a lazy git, they would still love you. But you are not a lazy git. You are a survivor. You have a gentle heart. You are very brave for never giving up. I know that they all are watching over you and they are very proud of the man that you've become. And like them, I am very very proud of you, Harry Potter."

"Thanks, Hermione," I could feel a tear rolling down my cheek. Hermione would never understand just how much her words meant to me. It was not about the words, but it was the feeling of acceptance and forgiveness. I felt that it was her way of telling me that she had forgiven me for all the pain I put her through and that no matter what, she would always be right there.

Hermione leaned in and she pressed a gentle kiss on my fading scar. The scar that defined my life but was now just a relic of all the darkness I survived with this woman in front of me. "You are loved, Harry Potter. And the love they had for you, it lives in you," Hermione whispered as she pulled away.

After that heartfelt conversation, we talked about mundane things as we watched the stars until we fell asleep in each other's arms.

George and Ron wanted me to at least get to first base for this date, but I didn't care.

Our first date was perfect.

It was the start of my new life with Hermione. As I watched her sleep, I promised the love of my life that I will do my very best so we could happily grow old together. When I closed my eyes, I knew that I would slowly heal from all the pains of the past just as long as I have Hermione with me.

* * *

_Harrykins!_

_I can't believe that you spent the night sleeping next to Hermione, but you didn't even get to kiss her._

_What the hell, mate?_

_Anyway, since the first date is all about romance and grand gestures, you should bring her to somewhere fun for your second date. Find an activity that involves a lot of touching, that way, you can build tension._

_Bloody kiss the girl! I know you want to._

_George_

I chuckled as I read George's letter again. I was about to leave so I could pick Hermione up for our second date. Even if I saw Hermione every day since I handed her my MRI result, we agreed that the time we spent together was not to be included as an official date. So, I still had two more dates to convince her to take a chance on me.

I had a feeling that I was slowly worming my way into Hermione's heart. Our interactions were different now. The strong bond of our friendship was still present but there was now a tinge of playful flirting in our conversations.

* * *

It was midnight and I was fidgeting in front of Hermione's door. Our second date was amazing. We spent the day at an amusement park. I always wanted to visit one when I was younger but the Dursleys never allowed me to go. So, spending the day with Hermione as we enjoyed the rides, played games, and ate junk food was like being a child again.

"Thanks for today, Harry," Hermione smiled at me as she held the Teddy Bear in her hand. Hermione won the bear because she received too many tickets just from shooting basketballs in one of the attractions. _Who knew Hermione Granger could shoot some hoops?_

"I had a lot of fun too, Mione," I could feel my palms start to get sweaty.

"So…"

"Good night, Hermione," I stammered, and Hermione chuckled.

"Just kiss me already, Harry," Hermione teased.

"Really?" I gulped.

Hermione playfully raised a finger to beckon me to come closer. There was a challenging glint in her eyes.

I gently lowered her hand and I held her waist. Hermione gasped as I slowly leaned in.

When I pressed my lips on hers, there was only one word to describe it. Magic.

I could literally feel my magic reaching out to Hermione's. This had never happened with Cho or with Ginny. It was like our connection was cemented in that single kiss.

When I pulled away, I heard Hermione whisper, "wow…"

"Did it feel like magic to you too?" I asked as I caressed her cheek.

"Yes. Like my magic tingled and reached out to yours," Hermione confessed as her cheeks flushed.

"Do you think it means something?"

"I'm not sure," she breathed.

"Can I kiss you again?"

She chuckled, "of course."

I kissed her again, this time it lasted longer than our first but the pull on our magic was still there.

"I love you, Hermione."

"I love you too, boyfriend," Hermione grinned and I felt my eyes widening in delight.

"You're serious?" I asked and Hermione nodded her head as I heard her melodious laughter.

"Really?" I just couldn't believe it.

"You're so silly, Harry," Hermione giggled.

I kissed her forehead and Hermione whispered, "you still owe me one more date though."

I laughingly replied, "I know."

* * *

_Harry,_

_I'm bloody proud of you, mate! You finally tamed the Brightest Witch of the Age._

_Anyway, I do hope you won't have any more slip-ups._

_You may be promoted to boyfriend status now, but you know how birds are. They can get crazy. And well, it's Hermione after all, so you better watch your arse._

_I have a game in Britain in a month, so I'll see you and Herms by then._

_I'll be the best man at the wedding (*wink *wink),_

_\- Ron_

_P.S. Please don't talk about your naughty shagging details. I already have enough nightmares from just thinking of Ginny and Neville together._

* * *

For our third official date, I took Hermione to visit Andromeda and little Teddy. It was just a fun day of us hanging around and playing with the little bundle of joy. According to Ginny and Luna, purebloods introduced the person they are dating to their families once the relationship started getting serious so initial discussions for a possible betrothal could be arranged. While I didn't agree with the pureblood protocols, I thought it was a great idea to just bond with Teddy. After all, Teddy liked Hermione very much because she was an excellent storyteller.

Hermione and I were just lounging about on her couch just relaxing after the fun-filled day we had. We wanted to spend more time with Teddy because we could only bond with him during the weekends once school would start.

I had my arm wrapped around Hermione's waist and she was leaning her head on my chest. I could imagine quiet nights like this for the rest of my life and I would be a very happy man.

Suddenly, the silence was interrupted.

"Harry?"

"Yes, love?"

"Why aren't we shagging each other?"

I was stunned.

I looked at Hermione and I could see something else in those beautiful eyes of hers – desire.

I was happy and contented with our relationship, so I never pressured her for more. I was willing to wait if that was what she wanted so I never tried anything except heated kisses.

"Wha – huh?" I knew that I looked like a gaping fish, but I was truly surprised by her question.

To my surprise, Hermione stood from the couch and she slowly unbuttoned her cardigan. I could already feel my body reacting to the sight of her unbuttoning her clothes. When she threw it on the floor and she was just standing in front of me in the sleeveless dress that showed her cleavage, I gulped.

"You know, Harry, if you only tried something, you can get more than just kisses, you know?" Hermione smirked.

"Oh? Is that so?" _Last chance, love._

"You'll never know if you don't try," before walking away, she turned around and gave me a look that broke all my restraint.

I licked my lips as I stood from the couch. I easily caught Hermione and she squealed.

"Harry!" Hermione giggled as she struggled between my arms.

"You asked for it, Granger," I growled as I held her tightly against my chest and apparated us to the master bedroom of 12 Grimmauld Place.

* * *

As soon as we landed in my bedroom, I pressed Hermione against a wall and kissed her in ways that I never did before. I poured all my passion and carnal desires in that single kiss as our tongues met while lifting Hermione's leg to wrap around my waist.

With our lips connected in a sensual frenzy, I was also busy grinding my aching cock against Hermione's delectable body. I never knew it could feel this good. If just kissing Hermione was magical, this was on a whole new level.

When we pulled apart for air, our chests were heaving, and I groaned upon seeing the scorching heat in her eyes. We needed to stop now before we reached the point of no return.

"Make love to me, Harry," Hermione whispered as her fingers ran through my messy hair.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm yours," she gave me this smile that conveyed all her love – and trust.

"I love you," I whispered as I kissed her forehead.

"Then show me," she challenged, and I laughed.

"You're such a sassy little minx," I growled as I lifted her. She instinctively wrapped her legs around my waist, and I walked towards the bed.

I gently placed Hermione on the bed and as I laid beside her, I just could not believe that this was happening right now. I wanted to remember the sight of Hermione on my bed for the very first time, her cheeks flushed, her hair all wild, and her breathing heavy. She was so beautiful.

"I love you," I whispered once again before I kissed her cheek. I kept saying the words as I peppered kisses on her face.

"Harry!" she giggled, and it was a sound that I wanted to hear every day.

"I love you, Hermione," I looked into her eyes before I kissed her passionately on the lips.

My hand was lifting the hem of her dress higher and higher. My lips trailed kisses down her neck as I traced the path of her smooth skin. When I reached the apex of her thighs, I groaned at the wetness seeping from her lace knickers.

"Harry…" Hermione moaned in pleasure and it just made my cock ache even harder.

"What do you want, love?" I huskily whispered before I playfully bit her earlobe.

"Touch me…"

"With pleasure," I fumbled about to reach the zipper of her dress. When I found it, I slowly lowered the zipper and pulled the dress down to her waist.

When I saw her round bare breasts with her pink hardened nipples, I groaned out, "you're so beautiful."

"Just for your reference, witches don't wear bras," she smirked. She must have sensed that I was surprised to discover she wasn't wearing one.

"Merlin! I love magic," I whispered, and she chuckled, but it quickly turned into moans of pleasure when I lowered my tongue to lick her nipple.

"God, Harry! Don't stop!" Hermione arched her back and her fingers gripped tightly on my hair as she pressed her breast even closer to my mouth while I smirked against her skin. At the same time, my hand was slowly rubbing up and down against her soaked knickers making her shiver in pleasure.

"Just take it off!" I chuckled. _Figures that Hermione would be bossy in bed too,_ I grinned as I wandlessly vanished her knickers.

"Did you just – Oh my god!" I knew she was about to ask about my magic but as soon as my fingers touched her pussy, all thoughts of magic flew out the window.

"Tell me what you want, Hermione?" I asked before I lightly bit her nipples. It's such a turn-on to hear Hermione Granger, poised, strict, former head girl, come undone because of me.

"Fingers – don't stop! Yes!" She screamed as I buried one finger inside her.

"You're so sexy, Hermione. I can't wait to have you like this in my bed every single night," I whispered against her ear as my fingers continued to pleasure her.

When I used wandless magic to vanish her dress this time around, she gasped, "How did you do that?"

"Trade secret," I smirked. She glared at me but then closed her eyes and bit her bottom lip when I added a second finger inside of her.

"Yes, Harry! Yes!" Hermione was screaming in pleasure now when I had another idea. Focusing my magic on bringing her more pleasure, she shivered as she felt the vibrating ripples of my magic all over her body.

I could feel Hermione's inner walls gripping my fingers tighter and tighter, so I kissed her passionately on the mouth as I drowned out her first orgasm of the night. When we pulled apart for air, her eyes were closed, her face was contorted in ecstasy, and I felt like a king. _Potter – 200 points. Granger – 1000 pleasure points._

"Merlin, Harry! What was that?" Hermione panted as she opened her eyes.

"Magic," I smirked, and she rolled her eyes.

"How did you – how did you do that?" she was still breathless from her high.

"I'd tell you but then you'd have to marry me first," I played coy.

"Is that a proposal?" she snorted.

"I'm offended, 'Mione. I would never ask you to marry me while your brain is clouded by an orgasmic haze. You're welcome by the way," I waggled my eyebrows suggestively and she rolled her eyes.

"You're lucky I love you or else I would hex your cocky arse," she retorted.

"Tsk! Tsk! You haven't even seen my arse yet," I winked.

"Wand," she held out her hand to me.

"You're not hexing me, are you?" I was honestly a little scared right now and she giggled.

"No, silly! I'm too tired to manually take your clothes off and I can't do wandless magic, Mr. Savior of the Wizarding World," Hermione teased, and I laughed.

I summoned my phoenix feather wand from its holster and handed it to her.

"It's weird that I could easily use your wand," Hermione muttered as she vanished my clothes.

Her eyes were immediately drawn to my aching cock and she gasped as she handed my wand back. I only haphazardly threw it on the floor and Hermione being Hermione, she said, "Harry! What if it breaks?"

"Who cares? You're more important," I shrugged as I pulled her on top of me.

We were kissing once again with Hermione on top, but then she pulled away. "You know, I kind of like this… Having the Chosen One under me. It makes me feel so powerful," she smirked.

"I knew you were just after me as a conquest," I feigned offense.

"I haven't even started my conquest yet," she whispered against my ear and I swear that I felt my cock twitch in joy.

Hermione started kissing her way down. Her lips trailing kisses down my chest. When she breathed against my nipple, I groaned.

"Hermione…"

I could feel her smirking against my skin, and I realized that she really loved being in control. _Oh, how I love you, my sassy little minx…_

"Holy Merlin!" I growled when I felt her small hand gripping my cock.

"I love you, Harry," she was whispering against my abdomen as she pumped my cock up and down.

"Hermione, please! If you don't stop – I'll – I'll come," I begged.

"Oh? Is that so?" her voice was sultry and naughty. When I felt her lips around the head of my cock, I cursed.

"Fuck! You have to stop now!" It was too much pleasure and I didn't want to embarrass myself, so I gently pushed her back on the mattress.

Hermione was giggling now, and I glared at her, "you really do enjoy bossing me around, Ms. Granger."

"You should try it sometime, it is very exciting," she smirked.

"Is that so?" I rubbed the head of my cock against her slit.

"God! Yes!"

"What do you want, Ms. Brightest Witch of the Age?" I tilted my head as if to challenge her.

"Just fuck me, Harry!" she groaned.

"With pleasure," I whispered against her ear as I finally claimed the future Mrs. Potter.

_Told you, you'd be mine before the summer's over,_ I smirked as I pounded my cock in and out of the love of my life.

_Potter – 1,000,000 victory points. Granger – well, you're my queen so you'll always be the winner._

* * *

I tried to ignore the pecking I could hear from the window, but it was so damn annoying that I reluctantly opened my eyes. The sight that greeted me, made me smile. Hermione was sleeping soundly by my side, her curly hair even wilder than before, and she was making the cutest snoring sound. She looked so small and vulnerable that I just wanted to protect her forever.

When the pecking became more insistent, I rolled my eyes and waved my hand towards the window. Two owls flew in and landed on my nightstand. I could see that one carried the Gringotts crest on its chest while the other bore the ministry's.

"Odd," I muttered. I waved my hand and the scrolls fell off their legs. I was about to conjure some water for the birds but they flew away so I just closed the windows once again.

Careful not to wake Hermione, I slowly sat on the bed and summoned my glasses as I opened the letter from Gringotts.

_August 7_ _th_ , _1999_

_Lord Harry James Potter and Lady Hermione Jean Potter,_

_We at Gringotts would like to congratulate you on your bonding solidified on the 7th of August_ _1999 at 1:05 AM._

_Please come to the bank at your earliest convenience so we could discuss the updates on your finances._

_We wish you a fruitful marriage and a life of abundance._

_Sincerely,_

_Ragnok_

_Chief of the Goblin Nation_

"Oh, shit!" I cursed. _Hermione's going to kill me!_

"Ha – Harry? Are you alright?" Hermione said groggily.

"I'm so sorry, Hermione," I apologized sincerely.

"Wha – why? What did you do?" she slowly sat on the bed and she used the sheets to cover her naked body. _At least I got to see Hermione naked before she kills me,_ I thought grimly.

"It seems that we are – er, well, you see – "

"Just tell me, Harry! You're acting strange," Hermione said with worry.

With shaking hands, I gave her the letter from Gringotts.

Hermione's eyes were widened in surprise as she read the letter while I kept praying, _"please don't kill me"_ in my head.

When she was finished with the letter, she gave me a stern look and I gulped.

"So… Lord Potter, eh?"

"Ye – yes?" I muttered.

"Ah, well! What can we do? You wanted to marry me anyway, right?" she asked, and I nodded my head vigorously.

"Well then, just kiss me husband, and we'll figure this out tomorrow," she smirked, and I gave her a wary look.

"You're not mad?"

"Nah. I always knew you were special, so it's alright," she shrugged.

"Are you sure?" I feared Hermione Granger; I mean Hermione Potter after all.

"Just kiss me already!"

"Yes, Lady Potter!"

And just like that, we started our life together. Literally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I bet you didn't see that coming, did you?
> 
> Anyway, I heard your call. The last chapter will be the epilogue, so there will be one more chapter. Yay!
> 
> Reviews, faves, and follows are highly appreciated.


	4. Epilogue

**SHAGGING PSYCHOLOGY**

By: tweety-src-clt9

Epilogue

I was tired and just eager to get home to my family after a week-long business trip to America for expansion plans of the Marauder Industries and the Potter-Black Foundation. I was supposed to be home two days from now, but I missed my sassy wife and our three crazy children. Because of that, I moved my schedule around just so I could be home earlier.

I stepped out of the fireplace and glanced at the grandfather clock. It was almost nine in the evening, so I sighed in defeat. I didn't make it to dinner.

"Welcome home, Master," Kreacher popped in and bowed respectfully.

"Hello, Kreacher. Where's everyone?"

"Mistress be in laboratory, young Master Teddy be in bedroom, twins – "

"Daddy! Daddy! You're back!" two energetic six-year-olds, a girl with emerald green eyes and curly brown hair and a boy with chocolate brown eyes and messy raven hair, came crashing towards me. I chuckled as I crouched down so I could hug my not so little bundles of joy.

"Will Master want dinner?"

I looked at my grinning children and smirked. "Maybe some milk and cookies, please, Kreacher."

"But mistress says – "

"Puh-lease, Kreacher," the twins pouted and gave the old house-elf their best puppy dog eyes.

Kreacher could only shake his head, "of course, little Miss Abby, little Master Jamie. Kreacher be serving cookies in the library," with a snap of his long fingers, he popped away.

"We do not tell mummy about this, alright?" I winked and my little minions sealed their lips in secret, their eyes sparkling with mischief.

"Come along, Daddy! We found this great picture book – "

"Yeah! And we want to ask you – "

"About it!" the twins chorused as they dragged me along. They were adorable and brilliant kids who got Hermione's brains and my penchant for trouble. _A deadly combo that just might make Minerva McGonagall retire as headmistress,_ I grinned happily as I let my children lead the way.

When my kids gestured for me to sit in between them, I winced. I saw the 'great picture book' they were talking about. _We thought we hid it well;_ I was starting to get nervous because I didn't know what sort of awkward questions my children would be asking me.

"So… Daddy, what is shagging?" Abigail Lily asked.

I glanced at the title of the book, _Shagging Psychology: How to Strengthen Your Relationships with the Witch of Your Dreams_ by George and Ronald Weasley featuring snippets from Harry Potter. _I am so hexing Ron and George when I see them next week,_ I mused.

_How in the world will I be able to answer this question?_

When my friends discovered that Hermione and I magically bonded many years ago, they were shocked, but they attributed it to their 'courting ideas' and the 'Harry Potter factor.' Because of that, George had this crazy idea that we collaborate on a book that helped wizards gain the affection of the witch of their dreams using their advice and all the psychology concepts of attraction, sex, and relationships that I researched before handing Hermione my MRI. Since I figured they did help me in winning my Lady Potter over, I acquiesced with their plan, provided that a portion of the book's profits went to the foundation.

As expected, the book was an international success. Wizards from all ages who were desperate to gain the love of their witches grabbed a copy of the book. Hermione found the book amusing and we even hired her as a consultant for all the psychological concepts we wrote about.

_And now the bloody book comes biting me in the arse,_ I winced.

"Daddy?" James Albert prodded.

"Well, shagging is an activity shared by people in love… Er, but you really shouldn't read this book. It's – er, well it's not fit for your age," I stammered.

"But we know the basics of psychology and neuroscience. Mummy talks about her work all the time. Besides, Jamie and I already memorize the major parts of the Central Nervous System and – "

"Cookies!" Jamie squealed when a large plate of chocolate chip cookies and three glasses of milk suddenly appeared.

_Thank you, Kreacher,_ I sighed.

When my kids were happily munching on their cookies, I decided to change the topic as I discreetly vanished _Shagging Psychology_ to the master bedroom. Hermione would never let me live this down so I might as well salvage the situation before the questions get weirder.

"So, er, how long has mummy been working in her lab, Jamie?"

"Mummy spent the whole day playing with us but after dinner, she excused herself so she could check on her samples. So, I guess she's busy with her microscope right now. You know how she is focused on the magical development of young witches and wizards so she's checking their blood samples to see if she could find something there before she creates a series of tests for children with different blood types and ancestry," Jamie explained.

_Definitely Hermione Granger's children,_ I smiled proudly.

"It seems that both of you are very familiar with your mummy's work," I grinned.

"I want to be a neuroscientist like mummy," Jamie happily replied. His face was covered in cookie crumbs.

"What about you, Abby?"

"Well, mummy says that there is a job wherein you operate on people's brains so you could cure them. Jamie and I were talking about it and since he likes research better, he will be the neuroscientist and I can be a neurosurgeon," Abby said with confidence and gave Jamie a high-five.

Abby and Jamie, just like their mother, had already been tested for having genius-level IQs. Since they sometimes visited Hermione in her lab, they were quite familiar with the basic concepts of neuroscience. Teddy liked to call them little Auntie Miones because they were truly as brilliant as their mother.

"So, what would happen to Marauder Industries if both of you want to become Nobel winning scientists just like mummy?" I feigned hurt.

"Oh, don't worry, Daddy! Teddy-o can manage Marauder Industries. He likes business and meeting people," Abby said, and Jamie nodded.

"Besides, according to _Shagging Psychology,_ you and mummy can have more babies," Jamie grinned, and I didn't know what to say.

"Yeah! A sister would be nice. Maybe she can study neurobiology and then maybe another brother can help Teddy-o with Marauder Industries. That way, the next generation of Granger-Potters have the whole field of neuroscience covered," Abby mused.

"That's brilliant, Jamie! We'll tell mummy what we read in Shag – "

"No! No! Er, I'll tell mummy!" I panicked.

"Oh… Okay," the twins shrugged.

"Kreacher!" I was desperate.

"Can you call Teddy over, please?"

"Of course, Master," Kreacher bowed.

A few minutes later, fifteen-year-old Teddy entered the library. His hair was switching between blue and yellow, indicating that he was happy.

"Uncle Harry!" Teddy greeted me. I stood from the couch and I hugged my godson. Ever since Andromeda died ten years ago, Hermione and I legally adopted Teddy, but he still called us aunt and uncle to honor the memory of Tonks and Remus.

"Hey, Ted!" I ruffled his hair.

"Trouble with the little Miones?" he whispered, and I nodded.

"Abby, Jamie, do you want to sleep in my room tonight? Maybe we can play a song before we sleep?" Teddy addressed the twins. The twins adored Teddy and they loved hearing him sing as he played guitar. Sometimes, Abby would play piano and Jamie the violin as the three of them pretended they were in a band. They called themselves Marauders 3.0.

"Really?" Jamie grinned.

"Sure thing, Jamie!"

"Yay!" Abby and Jamie jumped up and down.

"You know, if we go to my room now, Auntie Mione will never know. You won't tell her, will you Uncle Harry?" Teddy winked.

"I know nothing," I smirked.

"We love you, Daddy!" Jamie and Abby chorused as they hugged me, and Teddy laughed.

"I love you all too," my heart swelled with joy.

"Love you, old man," Teddy smirked.

"Still can't beat me in Quidditch," I smirked back, and Teddy rolled his eyes.

"Let's go little Miones!" Teddy rallied the twins.

"Thanks, Ted," I mouthed, and my godson winked before they exited the library.

* * *

Thankful for having escaped the very awkward conversation, I decided to pay my Nobel-nominated wife a visit in her small laboratory in our basement. When Hermione conducted research related to the study of understanding wizard genetics and development, she made use of her lab at home.

Hermione successfully discovered three years ago that a magical person's brain processes information differently because magic is just some sort of electrical energy in hyper mode. Also, she was able to prove that blood status was not a factor for magical ability, in fact, through genetics, she discovered empirical evidence showing a negative correlation between inbreeding and power which states, the purer the magical lineage, the lower the magical ability.

Right now, Hermione was focused on creating a series of standardized testing for wizards and witches so their learning styles could be maximized and harnessed to its full potential. In all her work for the wizarding world, Hermione partnered with the Unspeakables as she headed various research related to wizarding neuroscience.

This year, eight years after Hermione finished her Ph.D. in Neuroscience at Harvard University, she received very exciting news. Her doctoral thesis has recently been corroborated by various other researchers and she was nominated for the Nobel Prize in Medicine for her theory on how the brains of trauma victims processed neuro impulses differently which led to the discovery of preemptive therapy measures before they exhibit manic and violent behaviors.

To say that I am bloody proud of my wife, was an understatement. Hermione was very flattered and elated by the nomination but she believed she has no chance at winning the Nobel because she was still relatively new to the field. In this, I wholeheartedly disagree. As I told her during our first date at the Forest of Dean, I always supported and believed in her even if she herself did not. I was optimistic and confident that Hermione would win the Nobel this year, after all, her research helped a lot of trauma victims already and her findings were replicated in other treatments for mental health issues, most specifically depression and multiple personality disorders.

I silently apparated inside Hermione's lab. Since my beautiful scientist was so busy, she didn't even notice my presence. And so, I greeted her, "Now what a sight! There's the sexiest neuroscientist in the world hard at work."

"Ahhh!" Hermione screamed in shock and I laughed.

When our eyes met, she glared at me, but her face eventually contorted into a grin.

"You're back!" Hermione stood from her work stool, her glasses on top of her head. She was still in her lab coat and to me, she was the epitome of sexiness and perfection.

"I missed you, love," I hugged her tightly to my chest as I smiled against her long curly locks.

"Did you just arrive?" she smiled as she pulled away.

"I already bonded with the twins and Teddy… We have bad news though," I said gravely.

"What? Is there something wrong?"

"The twins found and read some parts of _Shagging Psychology,_ " I stage whispered. Hermione was stunned but then she burst out in giggles, her eyes sparkling with amusement.

"And?" she was still chuckling, and I pouted.

"I need some love and comfort. They roasted me in there and it's your fault! You and your genius genes and adorable charms," I whined. She rolled her eyes, but she moved closer to my body. I could already feel my heart racing and my cock rising in attention. _There's just something about Hermione in a lab coat,_ I smirked.

"Are the kids asleep?" she waggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"Teddy's entertaining them in his bedroom," I winked.

"Well then, get your arse on the counter, Lord Potter," she pushed me the counter-top and she knelt in front of me.

Hermione's hands fumbled with my trousers and she quickly lowered them down and my breath hitched.

"Fuck!" I groaned when her hand gripped my cock and her lips lowered on my throbbing head.

Needless to say, just like in all aspects of life, Hermione Granger-Potter has perfectly mastered the art of giving blowjobs.

When I was nearing the point of no return, I vanished Hermione's clothes (except for her lab coat), and roughly bent her over the counter…

And then, I shagged my gorgeous, sassy, genius, sexy wife.

**THE END**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! That's done. After that, I just have to write a one-shot for the same writing fest for Harmony & Co.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this silly story.


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